How to Stay Grounded in your Own Sobriety Journey

Being part of a sober community or having a sober buddy is an incredible source of strength in your sobriety journey. These connections remind you that you're not alone and provide encouragement, understanding, and accountability. But what happens when someone in your circle takes a different approach—or has a recurrence of old behaviours?

When a sober buddy or fellow community member struggles or returns to drinking, it can stir up a lot of emotions. You might feel deep empathy, frustration, or even fear. And sometimes, it can trigger a voice in your mind whispering, “If they’re drinking again, maybe I could too.”

So how do you stay grounded in your own sobriety when someone else stumbles? And how do you remain a source of support without compromising your own progress?

If you’re looking for additional guidance and support, consider joining our online sober community or exploring our group coaching program where you can connect with others navigating similar challenges.

When Someone You Admire Takes a Different Path

Sobriety is a deeply personal journey, shaped by our unique experiences, values, and choices. But what happens when someone we admire—a sober inspiration, a community member, or even a close friend—takes a different approach?

Recently, the woman who has been my heroine and inspiration for living a holistic and alcohol-free life shared openly about her journey using ketamine as a therapeutic treatment for her depression. Her vulnerability was powerful, but I found myself grappling with a mix of conflicting feelings that I had to sit with and process.

Conflicting Feelings: Judgment, Triggers, and Fear

Judgment: The First Reaction

My initial reaction (I am not proud to say) was judgment. I caught myself thinking, How could she? or Does this align with sobriety? But the truth is, judgment rarely serves us—it keeps us stuck in rigid thinking and distances us from understanding.

So, I asked myself:

• How can I replace judgment with curiosity?

• What might she be experiencing that led her to this decision?

• What would it look like to hold space for her choice with compassion, even if it’s not the choice I would make?

This process of self-reflection reminded me that everyone’s journey is their own. What works for one person may not work for another—and that’s okay.

The Triggering Thought: "If She Does It, Maybe I Could Too"

Her openness also brought up a potentially triggering thought: If she uses ketamine for depression, maybe gummies or microdosing would be okay for me.

For a moment, I entertained the idea. But then I got radically honest with myself. I’ve had a long history with cannabis—a past where it consumed me far more than I’d like to admit. For me, there’s no middle ground with substances like that. I know deep in my heart that they have no place in my sobriety journey.

This was a powerful reminder: Sobriety isn’t about comparing my choices to someone else’s. It’s about staying aligned with what keeps me healthy, whole, and true to myself.

Fear for Her Journey

Another emotion that came up was fear—fear for her. As a woman in recovery, I couldn’t help but worry that using ketamine might be a slippery slope, a potentially dangerous path for her. But here’s the thing: my fear for her doesn’t serve either of us.

Ultimately, her journey is hers to navigate. She’s making the choices she feels are best for her health and well-being. And while I can hold space for concern, I need to remind myself that her story and how she stays safe in her sobriety do not impact me or my journey.

So How do we Stay Grounded When Others Take a Different Path?

If you’ve ever experienced conflicting feelings about someone else’s choices in sobriety, here are a few steps to help you stay connected to your own journey:

1. Pause and Reflect

When emotions like judgment, envy, or fear arise, take a moment to pause. Instead of reacting, ask yourself:

• What emotions are coming up for me?

• Why do I feel triggered by their choices?

• How can I approach this with curiosity instead of judgment?

  
  

2. Reaffirm Your Own Sobriety Values

Sobriety is not one-size-fits-all. It’s deeply personal, and it’s shaped by your unique history and what works for you.

• What does sobriety mean to me?

• Are their choices aligned with my values or triggering from my past?

• What keeps me safe, whole, and true to myself?

In my case, I know that cannabis doesn’t belong in my journey. Radical honesty helps me stay grounded in what works for me.

If you’re unsure what your version of sobriety looks like, our group coaching program can help you clarify your goals and build resilience.

3. Separate Their Journey from Yours

It’s important to remember that their choices don’t diminish your progress or commitment. Their path is not your path.

• Remind yourself: Their story is not my story.

• Use their journey as an opportunity to reflect on your own values, but don’t let it define your sobriety.

  
  

4. Hold Compassion Over Judgment

Compassion doesn’t mean agreeing with or endorsing someone else’s choices. It means acknowledging their humanity and holding space for the fact that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have.

Replace “How could they?” with “I wonder what led them to this choice?”

5. Focus on Connection

If their choices feel triggering, it’s okay to take space while staying connected to your own support system. Sobriety doesn’t happen in isolation, and staying engaged with your community helps keep you grounded.

If you’re looking for a safe space to stay connected and process these challenges, check out our online sober community where like-minded women support one another every step of the way.

Final Thoughts: Honouring Your Path

Sobriety is not about perfection or following a specific set of rules. It’s about staying true to yourself and creating a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.

For me, this experience was a reminder that radical honesty is my guidepost. When I’m honest with myself, I know that substances like cannabis or microdosing have no place in my sobriety. I know what keeps me grounded, clear-headed, and aligned with my values.

And perhaps most importantly, I’ve learned that I can hold space for others’ choices without letting them define my own. Sobriety is not about being perfect or getting it "right." It’s about staying true to ourselves, even when the path looks different for those we admire.

If you’re ever faced with these moments of conflicting feelings, ask yourself:

• What does my version of sobriety look like?

• What choices will keep me safe, grounded, and thriving?

  
  

You hold the answers—and your journey is yours to honour. 💛

Find Support in Your Sobriety Journey

If you’re navigating complex emotions or need a supportive space to grow, consider joining our online community or group coaching program where you can connect with women who understand and inspire you.

You don’t have to do this alone—we’re here to walk this journey with you. 💛